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So there's this show that my kid enjoys watching called "Adventure Time".  I'll see her watching it and be like, "What is that thing with that hat on?  Is that a...what IS that?  A person?  What the....what is that stretchy thing doing making out with a burrito?!  Shut the TV off NOW! Here!  Read the Bible!  Swiftly, man!"

Weasel (that's my kid) will usually give me a look that firmly informs me that, contrary to popular belief, I am not as brilliant as a rocket scientist at the height of her career.  This afternoon I decided to put forth a sizable amount of effort to understand the underbelly of Adventure Time for to convince my offspring that her brilliance is hereditary.  From me.  She gets it from me.  That's what I want her to believe.

After three back-to-back episodes, my synopsis is this:

Finn the Human and Jake the Dog are living in some ratty tree in the Land of Ooo and there's this Princess Bubblegum who rides around on Lady Rainicorn.  Incidentally, Jake is romantically involved with Lady Rainicorn.  I believe they'll be giving birth to puppies on Monday night's episode.  But when the rubber meets the pavement, Jake the Dog loves Everything Burrito more than the womb from whence he came. The Ice King spends the majority of his time being sleazy and stealing princesses and forcing them to marry him.  It's usually a toss-up between Princess Bubblegum and Lumpy Space Princess (LSP for short). LSP is from Lumpy Space, an alternative dimension.  She's a floating purple cloud with arms and a face and she can make other beings lumpy by biting them.  She can't fly.  She just floats around.  But if she touches the special star on her forehead, the floating stops.  She knows she's ugly and usually punches herself in the face to make herself look better.

I shared this synopsis with Weasel followed by a fist pump and, "In your face! In your FAAAAAACE!"

She held up her hand like an orator of old and told me that sometimes understanding isn't necessary.

"Now color in your coloring book there, mama."