"Monkey"

(Write short story using only dialogue)

"Is that your monkey, sir?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"you can't bring monkeys in here."

"Why?"

"You just can't."

"I don't understand.  Why?"

"You ever seen the movie 'Sergeant York'?"

"No. Why..are there monkeys in it?"

"No.  Just wondered if you'd seen it."

"Ah.  Well, no…I haven't."

"No matter. You need to get that monkey out of here.  I'm serious."

"But he's not even doing anything!  He's just sitting here!"

"I don't care.  He smells and there are laws saying you can't bring monkeys into public offices."

"No there ain't."

"Yes…yessir, there are."

"No…no there ain't."

"And what makes YOU an expert on the law?"

"I've represented myself a coupla times."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep."

"For what?"

"Once for DUI.  I didn't so good.  They put me in jail anyway.  I thought I did a decent job seein' as how I was sober and all."

"Hmm.  And the second time?"

"My divorce."

"Your divorce?  You represented yourself in a divorce hearing??"

"Fraid so."

"Interesting."

"Oh, it was."

"I'll bet.  So how'd you do with that one?"

"Eh…not too bad.  I got my chair, a coupla rugs, a few pair of pants…and this here monkey."

"You can't have that monkey in here, sir."

"Ya don't say."

"Actually, I do."