I will:
* Help kids stay safe by not texting on my cell phone while eating McDonald's and speeding through crosswalks in school zones with a frost covered windshield.
* I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.
* I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
* I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
* I will be more diligent in rooting out the hidden sugar packets in my kid's bedroom.
* I'll try not to let my kid hear me curse when cleaning out HER cat's litter box.
* I'll try to cut back on lying to my kid about what bad things might happen to her if she leaves the yard.
* I'll stop judging those who don't celebrate National Aardvark Week.
* I'll try to have more faith in my husband's ability to make household repairs without maiming or injuring himself.
* I will require that my kid ingest her daily vitamin in front on me and be subjected to a Mental Hospital Tongue-Mouth-Throat check.
* I will find a sneaky way to wear my circulation socks up under my skinny jeans to prevent the development of unslightly vericose veins.
* I'll make an effort to answer my phone more often.
* Eat more roughage.
* Wear Spanx without feeling the guilt.
* Figure out how the homeless man who stands at the corner of 1st and 3rd found out my first name.
* I'll try not to spend every Friday night snuggled up to the police scanner with my knitting and a cup of coffee.
.......and lastly......
* Try to find a positive way to inform my daughter that the rising cost of chicken, beef and pork has left us with no choice but to dig through dumpsters for our dietary needs.
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