If I knew what a water-logged rat riddled with rickets tasted like, I'd say it probably came pretty darn close to what was heaped upon my plate every Thursday night from 1976-1990.  Liver.  An organ.  The organ of a cow.  I think a cow.  I HOPE a cow.  An innard whose sole purpose was to create bile.  Let that run over your tongue.  Biiiiiile.

I'm sure if Webster's mother had forced this inhumane fare upon him, he too would've struggled to find the words to adequately describe its filth.  I'm not sure what the onions were about.  Camouflage?  Flair?  Garnish?  To me, they were just the outer lining of the gut on which they sat.  The flour still dry from failing to absorb the cheap sort of butter that wasn't really butter that Mom forced on us in the name of frugality and good health.  I asked her once...would she have a problem if I just went down to the Red Cross and asked for a bag 'n straw to go?  She looked disgusted.  Aha!  You see then?!  There's no difference.  The donated blood probably tasted like banana frappe compared to that liver mess.  I didn't care if I got the scurvy and my hair fell out.  The onset of halitosis didn't scare me either.

After 6 years in one house, you can imagine my mother's surprise to find 6 years worth of liver & onions wadded up in soggy paper towels and tossed behind the dry sink along with a 6 year accumulation of Shaklee's Vita-Lee.    I have vowed to never put my child through similar trauma.  Every now and again I'll get an olfactory hiccup.  Blood and onions.  Mangled cow and root vegetables.

There's a reason the liver is called the sewer of the body.  It filters out every piece of waste that comes through.  Have you SEEN what cows eat?  What they stand in?  Are you truly so deluded to think that their livers get rid of ALL toxicity with no residue?  Please.  Maybe your should switch organs.  Maybe cow brain.  Or pig brain!  They say pigs are real smart.

I didn't want to bring it up, Ma.....but you might want to think about why Grandma's pet cow, Mango, kicked you in the face when you were 9 years old.