When I was in the third grade we got a new kid toward the end of the year. They said his name was Hey Seuss. We figured Seuss was his first name and the Hey was an attention getter. We didn't know how Hey Seuss spelled his name until he got in trouble one day for talking in class. We all snickered as we watched Miss Cruz scrawl his name on the bad side of the board. J-E-S-U-S.
We'd been fairly friendly to him up to that point. Just yesterday Hey Seuss passed muster on the teeter totter test. We used some doe-eyed 1st grader to lure him into being his teeter totter partner. Then we bribed this same doe-eyed turncoat with a Zinger snack cake to jump off the teeter totter and let Hey Seuss crash to the ground. He didn't cry. Therefore, he passed muster.
Now we all refused to make eye contact. We had personally conspired to persecute Jesus and ain't none of us could lie ourselves out of this one. A proposal was made unto me. "Hey April. Go touch the hem of his garment and say you're sorry. For all of us." I refused. So did the next three kids. Frail Kenny finally wound up doing it. Jesus pretty much avoided us until summer break and never came back the following year. Frail Kenny took it personally.
What made me think of this story was hearing about how Tennessee child support magistrate Lu Ann Ballew took it upon herself to snatch the name of Messiah away from a seven month old baby boy and replace it with Martin.
She said, "The word Messiah is a title and it's a title that has only been earned by one person and that one person is Jesus Christ."
The Judge also added that her American south is no place to raise a baby named Messiah.
"It could put him at odds with a lot of people and at this point he has had no choice in what his name is."
Messiah's parents had come to court because they couldn't agree on his last name. They had no idea that a judge could just up change the kid's name because it offended her religious beliefs. Quite frankly, I didn't think it could happen either. Not surprisingly, Messiah's parents are appealing.
Well, it's a good thing for that little space in between the Lu and Ann. Because the American south is no place for a Luann to be raised. What with it being a new age Kabalarian name and all.
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