kids-say-the-darndest-things

Okay, so I've been a total loser at posting blog entries here lately.  So out of minor guilt I decided to ask my kid some questions.  And quite frankly some of the answers made me question my parenting abilities.  Especially the obvious disdain of education.

1)  Do you remember being born?

Meh.

2)  What's your favorite thing about Mommy?

When she wakes up in the morning with mohawk hair.

3)  What's your favorite thing about Daddy?

He's really tall (he's really not) and gives suffocating hugs.

4)  If you could give a homeless person anything in the world, what would it be?

A gold nugget.

5)  What's the thing you hate to do most?

School and homework.

6)  What's the thing you love to do most?

Play Minecraft.

7)  How old is your Mom?

Somewhere between 20 & 60.

8)  How old is your Dad?

50 something.

9)  What's your Dad's favorite TV show?

Andy Griffith Show.

10)  If you could have a boy name, what would it be?

Felix.

11)  If you could change one rule, what would it be?

No school on Friday.

12)  If you were a teacher, what would you do to the bad kids?

Make them eat lava and call their mothers.

13)  Should a man be with an older or younger woman?

Older.  He needs help.

14)  Who was George Washington's wife?

An elf?

15)  What's the story of Adam & Eve?

Something about snakes, an apple and being nekkid.

16)  What do you think heaven is like?

Which kind of heaven?

17)  What do you think grown-ups do on dates?

Smell roses and eat at restaurants.

18)  If you could be an animal, what would you be?  Why?

A Creeper from Minecraft.  And yes it is too an animal.  Because I could respawn and blow up stuff.

19)  When you grow up and have your own house, how will you decorate it?

With cats.

20)  If you could be anyone in the world, dead or living, who would you be?

Jimmy Carter.  I heard he has a limo.