Pardon the wobble in my voice, but I'm excited people. EXCITED! Why? Because this weekend, a gaggle of truckers plans to descend upon Washington's Capital Beltway with one goal and one goal only. To snarl traffic beyond recognition. All without breaking the law (hopefully). So I know what I'll be doing this holiday weekend. Slinging slang in honor of all those big rig operators out there being big on the road.
Maybe I'll bust out my CB radio so I can hear all the slander that will no doubt be slung regarding law enforcement:
Cheese Wagon: School bus
Cowboy Cadillac: Pickup truck
Sleeper Leaper: Working girl
Driving Award: Speeding ticket
Harvey Wallbumper: A reckless driver
Chicken Choker: Truck carrying poultry
Greasy Side Up: Truck that's flipped over
Gator Guts: Pieces of shredded tire in the road
Big 10-4: I completely agree
Draggin' Wagon: Tow truck
Bubble Trouble: Problem with your tire
Lot Lizard: Working girl at a truck stop
Fifty Dollar Lane: Passing lane
Toes on the Bumper: Driving at full-speed
Town Clown: Local police officer
Weight Watcher: Weigh station worker
Meat Wagon: Ambulance
Smoke Detector: Radar detector
Pay the Water Bill: Use the potty
Starving the Bears: Driving the speed limit
Boom Wagon: Truck carrying dangerous cargo
Half Cheese: A short school bus
Smile and Comb Your Hair: Radar trap ahead, slow down
Lane Lover: Vehicle that won't leave a particular lane
Loot Limo: Armored car
Pregnant Roller Skate: Volkswagon Beetle
Billy Big Rigger: Trucker with a big ego
Chew-n-Choke: Restaurant
Tijuana Taxi: Tow truck
Bone Box: Ambulance
Organ Donor: Motorcycle rider without a helmet
Colorado Kook-Aid: Beer
Bucket Mouth: Loud, obnoxious or vulgar
Land Yacht: Large mobile home or camper
Dream Weaver: Weaving driver - sleepy or impaired
Wiggle Wagon: A truck pulling two or more trailers
On the Floor and Looking For More: Accelerating at full speed
Watch Your Donkey: Watch behind you, police are approaching
Nap Trap: Motel
Pickle Park: Rest area known for working girls
Mud Ball: Donut
Motion Lotion: Fuel
Junk Buzzard: Bum or hobo
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