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A couple of years ago I wrote an article blasting Abercrombie & Hooch Fitch for designing a skimpy bikini for anorexic 8 year olds.  Now I'm back blasting them again.  I was sitting here this fine Saturday morning, enjoying my coffee...when Spouse says, "Hey. Did you hear about that Abercrombie jerk saying he hated fat chicks and he had army militants guarding their stores to keep them out?"

Spouse likes to exaggerate news headlines to ensure I'll go look the stuff up...which will propel me into a frenzy.  And this frenzy will lead to me yelling, "Oh no he didn't!" , which is usually followed by furious writing.  This frees up his morning to watch ESPN without interruption.  I act like I'm ignorant to his Master Plan but I'm totally on to him.

Back to the news.  Abercrombie's CEO, Mike Jeffries, hates fat chicks.  And by fat I mean anyone who can't fit into a size 10 that runs 2 sizes too small.  Seriously.  And I quote:

"We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends," Jeffries said. "A lot of people don't belong [in our clothes], and they can't belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely."

You know what this makes me want to do, right?  Oh c'mon. You know....put on my sundress from Walgreens, my Crocs and my fabulous fanny-pack and trot my fine hiney all UP into Abercrombie and immediately accost the first embryo size chick I find and start snapping my hands all in her face like, "Oh what.  You think I'm fat?  Huh?  You been walking around with your bow legged little self talking about how I'm FAT?  Oh, I got your fat right here (patting my fanny-pack).  You don't know me!  So you BEST keep my name out yo mouf or I'll be all back up in this place next week and I might just buy something and make you watch the horrific trainwreck that will be me in a size 10 pair of low-to-the-flo risers.  Also, this will something that will burn your retinas and make you twitch slightly for the rest of the your natural born life."

On a side note, is it me or does Mike Jeffries look like that chick who got maimed in some back alley doctor's office?

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